What Is Striving Really Doing For You?

I’ve been told countless times in my life that I should strive to achieve the things I want in life. And so I did. In sports I became overly competitive because I wanted to be the best. In my career my perfectionism went into overdrive because I felt I needed to be perfect to be seen as the best leader. I judged my peers if they weren’t putting in the hours and doing the work I was. I pushed myself and drove myself hard to achieve promotions, because that’s what I was supposed to do wasn’t it?

All these years later, I am finally asking myself why? Why did I need to strive to be the best? Shouldn’t I have just been happy with doing my best? Why did I need to be better than others? Why did I compare my best to what others were doing?

In my book, My Year To Thrive, I say that we live our lives in one of three ways. We are either surviving, striving or thriving.

Most of us know that if we are barely surviving this is where hopelessness lives. We know we don’t really want to live there and that just surviving is not how we want to spend the rest of our life.

But most of us get fooled around living in striving mode.

We’ve been told that’s where we want to be. But think about this. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines striving as “to devote serious effort or energy”, and “to struggle in opposition”. So what are we struggling in opposition of?

I believe when we are striving we are struggling to confirm our worthiness. Perfectionism is a worth issue. Control is a worth issue. Judgement is a worth issue. Unbalance is a worth issue. An overly strong competitive nature is a worth issue.

Any time we are striving to be better than others, whether that be through actions, or words (like gossip) we are living in unworthiness. Any time that you do anything to prove that you are good enough, you are walking in a lack of self-worth. I know this, because I lived there for a very long time.

And please don’t get me wrong. I absolutely believe in improving who we are. It’s just how we go about doing that.

Thriving is where you really want to live.

This is when you are truly living an abundant life. You choose how you want to feel instead of reacting to others. You don’t judge others and you accept yourself for who you are, knowing that you are growing every day. You are comfortable being uncomfortable. You know that when you fail it ok and that you will derive a great learning from that lesson. Thriving is living in the present and where you are truly passionate about your life.

And so if you find yourself striving , take a moment and ask yourself, “Am I really doing this to confirm my worthiness?”

It’s a tough question, but one that will truly lead to you making an impact on your life.

 

Heather

If you’re interested in taking your life to the next level, why not check out my very affordable My Year To Thrive retreat.  Click here to learn more.

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